


Stand By Me

by Anonymous



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Eraqus is a Good Dad, Gen, He's trying at least, Hurt/Comfort, I am SO sorry Aqua, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Nothing inappropriate happens between named characters, Platonic Cuddling, Platonic Relationships, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pre-Canon, Pre-Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep, Pregnancy, Rape Recovery, Trauma, Unplanned Pregnancy, Whump, it was written as gen/platonic but can be shippy if you want it to be, wayfinder family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-16
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2019-10-29 11:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17807423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: "She'll be alright, Ven," Terra assured.If Aqua could have heard him, she would have disagreed. She hadn't mentioned anything to anyone, but a terrible thought was beginning to seem more and more like reality than a nightmare. It was enough to make her choke on the tears that were quick to rise.When the unthinkable happens, Aqua turns to her family for the support she desperately needs. Now, more than ever, she needs them by her side.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> God, I'm so sorry Aqua!
> 
> I got the main idea for this fic a couple years ago when I first played BBS, then I only wrote like half of it and got sidetracked. It was gonna sit on my hard drive for eternity until I played KH3 and had ALL THE FEELS! Naturally, my brain said 'k, but what if u made an epilogue that fits the fic you never posted?' and here we are. And because I had to suffer with the thoughts and feels, I decided misery needs company.  
> What was originally going to be a oneshot has not grown WAY out of proportion. When I went back to poke at it and clean it up it just kept growing and now it's looking like a 4-chapter affair instead. And you know, I just had to title it after the song guaranteed to make me bitch cry because that's the kind of fic this is gonna be.
> 
> Buckle up for a fun ride kiddos!

* * *

 

The empty chairs at the dinner table were more conspicuous for the lack of occupants than they ever were when taken. Ven tried not to stare too much as he pushed his food around his plate.

"Something wrong with your dinner, Ventus?" Eraqus asked, his keen eye on the boy.

"Wha- no, I," Ven tore his eyes from the empty seat across from him and looked to the keyblade master. "I guess I'm just not really hungry today."

Eraqus was hardly fooled. He smiled kindly. "Terra and Aqua will be home soon."

"I- I know, it's just..." Ven trailed off and looked glumly at the empty seats. "It's quiet around here. They've been gone for so long."

Eraqus chuckled. A week and a half was hardly a long time from his perspective, but for a thirteen year old boy, it very well may have been a year and a half. "It is much quieter here without Terra and Aqua, but sometimes extended missions to different words are a requirement of keyblade masters. You will go on some of your own when you are ready."

Ven brightened a bit at the mention of what his future would hold. His eyes sparkled with the promise of adventure. "When do you think I'll be able to go on missions to another world?"

Eraqus laughed again, "You need to be a bit older."

"How much older? When did Aqua and Terra get to go to new worlds?"

"Oh, well, it's also a matter of training. I believe they were fourteen when they accompanied me on their first missions."

"So another year then?"

"Perhaps." Finding himself about to make promised he probably couldn’t keep, Eraqus tried to subtly change the subject. "I believe the skies will be clear tonight. What do you say we have an astronomy lesson?"

Ventus, typical of a boy of his age, usually complained about extra lessons, but he has a particular love for stargazing and it was one lesson he never begrudged. He smiled widely at his master, and then applied himself to his dinner with much gusto.

 

Later that night, Ven was sprawled out on the grass of the summit, a content smile on his lips while Eraqus framed the next planet of interest in the telescope. "Is every star up there really another world?"

"In a sense, yes," Eraqus explained as he adjusted the focus. "Every star has its own solar system of planets and other celestial bodies, but not every one is inhabited. Take for example, our celestial neighbor."

"The moon?" Ven sat up and cocked his head to the side, considering the sliver of gold floating through the night sky.

"What do we know about it?" Eraqus prompted.

"It's cold and arid; the atmosphere is too thin to maintain any kind of life."

"Precisely, it would not be considered a _world_ , but it could be observed through a telescope. Now take for example, this planet," Eraqus stepped aside for Ventus to look through the telescope. "Tell me what you see."

"I see... rings crossing each other. And it looks a little... blue?" He looked to Eraqus for affirmation, and his Master nodded.

"What you are looking at is another world. It is primarily covered in water with few true land masses. Its inhabitants live nomadic lives on enormous, city-sized barges..."

Ven listened intently to his Master's teachings, but as he looked at the distant world, something much closer caught his eye. "Wait, what's that?" He looked up from the telescope to look at the new glint in the sky. It was close; inside the atmosphere of the Land of Departure, and rapidly growing in size. Getting closer. Eraqus cut off his lecture and followed Ven's pointed finger.

"Is it a ship?" Ven asked.

Eraqus hurried to look through the telescope. The closer the object got, the clearer it became. His heart sank when he recognized the familiar shape of a keysailor. Aqua. Why would she port in so high in the atmosphere? He didn't need the telescope to see her now. She was falling down to their world, uncontrolled, making no effort to slow her descent.

"Something's wrong with her," Ven voiced at the same time Eraqus reached the same conclusion. Her figure was slumped in her seat, only moving with the motion of the craft. "She's going to crash!"

The cry had barely passed Ven's lips and Eraqus had his keyblade in hand. Aqua was heading straight for the courtyard. Too distant to stop her, but perhaps close enough to...

The Slow spell blasted from the Master's keyblade toward the plummeting figure and caught her just a couple hundred feet from landfall.

Ven and Eraqus ran dangerously close to the edge of the cliff to watch Aqua land.

Slow stopped her fall from being fatal, but it still wasn't a gentle landing. She hit the stone hard and rolled several yards before coming to a stop facedown.

"Aqua!" Ven scrambled to run down the hill, but Eraqus was a step ahead of him. He grabbed the boy by the arm and teleported them both down to the courtyard.

Ventus reeled at the sudden displacement, clutching his stomach against the nausea of teleportation. In the back of his mind, Eraqus noted that had probably been Ven's first teleportation. It was an unpleasant experience even for one who was prepared for it, but Aqua took precedence at the moment.

He knelt at his pupil's side and gently rolled her to her back. It was impossible to gauge anything with her armor on, but he feared for the worse. He eased Aqua's helmet off and quickly felt for a pulse and lowered his head to listen for her breath. Her breath was shallow, but her pulse was strong.

"Aqua. Aqua can you hear me?" He gently tapped her cheek to try and rouse her.

There was no response.

"Is she alright?" Ven asked, hovering over Eraqus' shoulder.

Aqua looked like she had been through a war. Her face was bruised, a cut on her forehead was slowly trickling blood, and her left eye was ringed with a black eye that was clearly several days old.

What happened to her? Her mission was supposed to be reconnaissance.

"Let's take her to the infirmary. Get the doors, Ven." Eraqus scooped his unconscious pupil into his arms and followed the boy into the castle. They hurried to the small infirmary. Once Aqua was settled onto a bed, Eraqus went to work tending to her injuries.

He dismissed her armor, and caught his breath. Aqua's clothing was torn, bloodied and dirty. Small cuts and large bruises mottled her arms and legs. Her right wrist was bent at an awkward angle, certainly dislocated, possibly broken, and the skin around both wrists had been rubbed raw and bloody.

Ven swore softly behind him, and Eraqus would have scolded him for his language had he not been thinking of words of the same caliber. Still, the child didn't need to see his fellow student like this. A bright and pure heart like Ventus needed to help and stay busy or else the trauma would set in before Eraqus had time to properly address it with his youngest pupil. Already, Ven was getting a glazed, distant look in his eyes.

"Ventus, I need you to fetch some bandages and medicine."

The boy tore his eyes from Aqua's injuries. A sharp, determined look settled on his face. "Right. What do you need?"

Eraqus rattled off the list, and Ven flew from cabinet to drawer to gather what was needed. After ten minutes, Aqua's wrist was set and wrapped, her cuts bandaged, and salve had been applied to the worst of the bruising. A potion would heal her right up, but that had to wait until she regained consciousness.

Eraqus was not particularly skilled with healing magic – other than what he had learned over his lifetime – but from what he could tell, there were no internal injuries that required a specialist's attention.

"Will she be alright?" Ven asked, worry settling in again without something to keep him busy.

"Of course," Eraqus said with more conviction than he really felt. Until Aqua regained consciousness, he really wouldn't be able to know. Aside from her physical injuries, it was impossible to tell if she had been hit with any magic or dark forces, or if she had suffered a brain injury. He pulled a blanket over Aqua and then left his seat at her bedside.

"I think this potion is reaching the end of its shelf life. I'm going to see if we have anything fresher in storage. Stay with Aqua, Ven, let me know if anything changes." He gestured to the empty chair.

Ven perched on the seat, and hugged his arms tightly around himself. Eraqus clapped him on the shoulder and left.

Eraqus’ thoughts went to his other pupil, Terra. He and Aqua had been sent to separate worlds, but with the same mission. It was an observation mission: to watch the denizens of their assigned worlds and blend in for a couple weeks – an exercise in maintaining the Order of the worlds. This wasn't their first or longest solo mission assigned, but the inability to communicate suddenly put him on edge. Eraqus shook off the worry.

Terra was supposed to return in three days. If he was late, then he would start to worry.

 

Ven chewed on his lower lip as he watched Aqua sleep. She was so still and quiet and her stark white bandages seemed to glow in the light of the infirmary. What happened to her?

Ven felt a chill run up his spine. He hadn't thought before about the danger of becoming a keyblade master. Up until now, he had only thought of the adventures, of visiting other worlds with his best friends, of meeting new people and making new friends. He hadn't considered that there were things out there that could and would hurt him.

He was a keyblade wielder. He had magic at his fingertips. But so was Aqua. She had years of experience that he didn't, and he could count on his fingers the number of times he had actually beat her in the sparring ring. What could have possibly done this to her?

Ven reached over and took Aqua's hand. It was limp and cold. He wrapped his hands around it, trying to give some warmth back. He remembered his own arrival to the Land of Departure. His first memory was of Aqua sitting at his bedside, holding his hand, quietly telling him about the world he had awoken on.

"You can rest easy, Aqua," Ven paraphrased. "You're home safe."

His eyes fell on the bandages wrapped around her wrist, and his thought went to the ring of sores beneath. A cut and a bruise in a fight, he could understand getting, but what had made those?

Aqua's hand twitched and she stirred.

"Aqua!" Ven flinched a bit and lowered his voice. He watched carefully as her eyes fluttered open. She blinked rapidly, confusion evident on her face as her surroundings came into focus. "Hey," Ven breathed, "Hey, welcome back."

"Ven?" She asked weakly. "Where…"

"Don't worry. You're home now."

"Home...?"

Then, to Ven's distress, Aqua did something she'd never done before. She burst into tears.

 

Eraqus heard the commotion from the hallway. He tightened his grip on the fresh potion and picked up the pace. Aqua was sitting up in bed, with her knees drawn up to her chest, bowed over and outright sobbing. Ven was doing his best to comfort her, but the young woman was inconsolable, and all Ven could do was awkwardly rub her shoulders.

Eraqus set the potion down and crossed to his students. "Aqua, it's alright. You're safe now. You're home."

Aqua drew a shuddering breath. "M-master Eraqus?" She paused crying only long enough to peer up at him before her tears ran anew. Several unintelligible words fell from her mouth, muffled by her arms.

"Ventus," the keyblade master turned to his youngest pupil.

"I know you said to get you if there was a change. But Aqua woke up and just started crying and I didn't want to leave her alone."

"I know. You did the right thing. But now, I need to speak with Aqua alone."

"But I-"

"Ventus." Eraqus fixed him with a stern look that left no room for argument.

Ventus shot to his feel. "Y-yes Master."

"Perhaps you could prepare some tea."

Ven looked a little easier now that he had another task to complete. Eraqus waked the boy to the door, with a hand on his shoulder to guide him. "Do you know which tea Aqua prefers?"

Ven thought for a moment. "Ummm, the jasmine, right? With honey."

Eraqus smiled slightly. "Precisely." He gave Ven a small push through the door. "I think Aqua would greatly appreciate that."

Ven echoed his weak smile. "Okay then. I'll be back in a bit."

Eraqus watched the boy disappear in the direction of the kitchen. He closed the door, locked it, and for an extra measure cast a silencing spell. Ven was a guileless boy, but given the circumstances he wouldn't put it past him to try a little eavesdropping.

Given true privacy, Eraqus turned to Aqua. He picked up the potion and sat down on the chair. "Here, drink this, Aqua, it will help you heal." He could tell she was in immense pain, and the position she had curled into wasn't helping things.

She sniffed and slowly lifted her head. Her tears stopped, but she continued to shake and tremble. She didn't meet his eye as she reached for the potion bottle. Her hands shook so bad that most of her first few sips went down her chin, but as her pain eased, her hand grew a little steadier. She drank in silence, and Eraqus didn't breathe a word until she held out the empty bottle. She still wouldn't look at him.

Eraqus' heart sank as he began to wonder what traumas could have hurt his student like this. With her physical injuries on the mend, it was time to tend to her emotional ones. He settled into a more comfortable position and simply said, "When you are ready to talk, I am here to listen."

 

Ventus was surprised and disappointed to return to find the infirmary door closed and locked. He hadn't been gone that long: fifteen minutes, twenty tops. Long enough to boil a kettle and prepare the tea and dig up a few cinnamon cakes, they were Aqua's favorite. Ven carefully shifted the tray to one arm and knocked on the closed door. "Master Eraqus, Aqua, I brought the tea."

There was no response.

"And cake!" Ven added, hoping to add a little incentive.

Still no response. Ven didn't even hear the murmur of voices through the wood door. Now that was odd. They still had to be in there; otherwise they wouldn't bother locking the door. He pressed his ear to the door, hoping to hear _something_ , but all he got was silence. Unnatural silence.

Ven frowned at the hexed door and then down at the tea tray in his hands.

Maybe they were just talking about what happened to Aqua on her mission. They'd be done in a minute or two. Master Eraqus wouldn't have sent Ven to make some tea if he didn't plan on them drinking it.

"Don't be too long, or else the tea will get cold." Ven called through the door. He carefully set the tray down and sat against the wall opposite of the door.

They'd be done any minute now.

 

It had taken Aqua a long time to begin talking. She didn’t say a word in the time it took Ventus to bring some tea.

“Should I let him in?” Eraqus asked. “We can wait until after some tea to talk.”

“No.” Aqua curled back up into a tight ball.

“Alright.” Eraqus could have the patience to wait all night if required. Ventus would probably get bored and retire to his own room before too long. Probably when the tea got cold.

The silence stretched on longer and longer.

“I don’t know how…” Aqua rasped hoarsely, still hiding her face in her arms. “I don’t know where to start.”

“Try from the beginning,” Eraqus prompted. “Start from when you left for your mission.”

Aqua drew an uneven breath, and followed her Master’s advice. Her mission started off well enough. She had blended into the new world, found lodgings, picked up some odd jobs to earn munny for food and rent. All according to plan. Then on her fourth or fifth day, things went to hell. Aqua wasn’t entirely sure what happened; she remembered grabbing dinner from a street vendor, and the next thing she knew, she was shackled to a metal pipe in a room with five other young women.

Details fell apart after that. Aqua lost track of the days, she had huge blank spots in her memory. There was something in the food and water, she thought, it made her weak, fuzzy-minded, unable to summon her keyblade.

There were several things Eraqus knew she purposefully left out. He didn’t press for those details. The evidence of her captor’s brutality was clear on her face.

One day, a seventh joined them; a girl Ven’s age, maybe younger.

Aqua had been formulating an escape already. She had skipped several meals to work whatever drug out of her system, and went by on the smallest sips of water. She needed just a little more time to learn the patterns of their captors. The young girl had made her fire of determination burn hotter. They wouldn’t spend another day in their prison.

Plans of getting them out in the dead of night went out the window when their captors came for the girl.

Aqua dislocated her right wrist when she pulled free from the shackle. A blast of Fire flew from her keyblade at the two looming monsters in the doorway. She hadn’t even thought of summoning her keyblade or the magic. By that point, Aqua was running on instinct and adrenaline alone.

She cut her bonds, and those of the other young women, and began to lead them to freedom. Their efforts did not go unnoticed for very long, and Aqua was the only one fit enough to fight off the other captors.

Details were sparse again. Aqua remembered getting the other women to safety with the world’s law officers. She passed on what information she could. And then… then she was waking up in the infirmary bed.

Eraqus filled in the details of her appearing in the night sky and her crash landing. Aqua nodded mutely.

“Aqua, I cannot begin to imagine the trauma you have suffered. You don’t have to decide on anything now, but if you don’t wish to talk about it with me, I have an old friend who has training for such things.”

Training for treating the physical and emotional trauma that Aqua would not name, the trauma that Eraqus felt sick just thinking about. This was all out of his wheelhouse, and he was certain if he tried to aid Aqua without outside help, or advice, he would do more harm than good.

“Okay.”

“For now, though, rest and recover. Think about this when you wake. Is there anything I can do for you?”

“No, Master, thank you; I’m just tired.”

“I will leave you to sleep.” Eraqus moved to stand up.

“No wait!” Aqua’s hand shot out and caught his sleeve. Her voice was small and shaking, like it had when she was a much younger girl, frightened by a nighttime specter. “Can you stay? I don’t want to be alone.”

“Of course, whatever you need.” Eraqus settled back into his chair. Aqua failed to hide her grimace of pain as she drew her injured hand back to cradle it against her chest. “Would you like another potion? Something to help you sleep?”

Aqua considered it for a moment, before nodding silently. “I’d cast Sleep on myself if I could muster the energy.”

“I’ll give you something that lasts a bit longer.” Eraqus rummaged through the medicine cabinet and procured a strong sleep aid and another potion.

She stayed quiet as she took the provided potion and sleep aid. “Thank you for staying, Master,” she whispered, handing back the empty bottle.

Eraqus placed a hand atop her head, a paternal gesture he hadn’t done to Aqua in several years, but she seem comforted by the familiar touch. “Sleep, Aqua. You are home. You are safe here. I will keep watch through the night.”

Exhaustion and the sleep medicine were working quickly on Aqua. She barely pulled her blankets up and settled into the pillow before she was closing her eyes for good.

Eraqus kept his word and kept watch until dawn. Aqua slept deeply and peacefully; a healing sleep, mending her physical injuries. Her recovery from this ordeal would take time, but Aqua was strong, and Eraqus had faith in his pupil. Still, he thought it would be a good idea to send a letter to his old friend, if anything for some advice on how to proceed from his front.

He stopped just outside the infirmary door, rather bemused to find the sleeping form of Ventus curled up opposite of the door. The forgotten tea tray lay by his head. Eraqus roused the boy, waking him just enough to send the child off to his own bed for a few hours of real sleep.

Ventus, still half-asleep, made no protest to the orders. He paused once he regained his feet, and asked, “Is Aqua okay?”

“She will be fine,” Eraqus assured him. “Now go to bed.”

“Kay.” Ven trudged off without another word.

Eraqus felt warmed at the loyalty of the boy. Aqua’s family cared deeply or her. They would support her unconditionally as she moved past her trauma.

* * *

 

Aqua slept through the next day and most of the day after that. When she left the infirmary, she took to hiding in her room. She was quiet, and while she didn't deny anyone when they asked to spend time with her, she didn't seek out company either. She took her meals alone in her room, and more often than not, could be found sleeping when she was checked on.

Eraqus understood some of what she was going through. Mourning and loss were strong demons to fight. Some battles need solitude to win; others are easier with family at your side.

In an effort to help regain some normalcy, Eraqus kept Ven's regular lessons. The boy was spending his every free moment at Aqua's side, doing what he could to cheer her up. He seemed to be helping her recover, providing a distraction from her thoughts and injuries.

Eraqus had taken care to have a long talk with Ventus about Aqua. The boy wasn't old enough to truly grasp the gravity of what had happened to her, and Eraqus didn't delve into details Ven didn't need to know. Aqua, now more than ever, deserved her privacy. On top of that, Ven needed to process his own trauma. For one so young, seeing a loved one in a state like that could be damaging, and leaving wounds like that unattended could fester into darkness. Even in a heart as pure as Ven's.

The next bridge to cross was Terra.

The eldest pupil was due to return soon, and Aqua had given Eraqus permission to tell Terra. She didn't think it was fair to keep him in the dark, but she didn't have the strength to talk about it.

Eraqus waited alone in the courtyard for Terra to return. At the expected return time, a portal yawned open a hundred feet up and the familiar shape of Terra soared through. He circled down to the ground and dismounted with an exuberant bounce.

"Master Eraqus, am I the first one home?" His armor dissolved, revealing a broad grin. It fell almost instantly when he saw his Master's grim expression. Immediately on guard, Terra asked, "What's wrong? What happened?"

"How was your mission, Terra?"

"It- it was fine. Went off without a hitch."

"Any unexpected difficulties?"

"No, Master. Truth be told, it was probably one of the easiest missions I've had. I didn’t even run into any stray heartless."

Some of the anxious knot in Eraqus' heart eased. After what had happened to Aqua, he couldn't help but worry for Terra's wellbeing. "Good. Come with me."

Terra furrowed his brow and followed. "Master, what's wrong?"

Eraqus didn't say anything until they were in his study. He bade Terra take a seat and then took a moment to collect his thoughts for the upcoming discussion.

By this point, the anticipation was almost too much to bear. Terra could tell something bad had happened, and he needed to know what it was. Had Ven been hurt? Usually, the younger boy was anxiously waiting for Terra and Aqua to return from their missions, his absence was foreboding. Still, he held his tongue and waited for Eraqus to speak.

After what felt like an hour of heavy silence, Master Eraqus finally began explaining.

Terra's blood turned to ice, but a fire of rage kindled in his heart. When Eraqus finished speaking, Terra couldn't contain it anymore. "Who did that to her? Where are they! I'll-"

"Terra, control yourself!" Eraqus snapped.

Terra had sprung to his feet; his fists were clenched and shaking. He hadn't even remembered moving. "Master, this is no time-"

"There is always time." Eraqus fixed him with a sharp look as he too rose to his feet. "What happened to Aqua was monstrous. It was an act of pure evil. But you cannot allow yourself to retaliate with equal darkness."

Terra ground his teeth, but drew a few deep breaths. His hands slowly unclenched and stopped shaking. "I'm sorry, Master."

Eraqus continued in a softer tone, "To feel such things is natural in the light of this event. But you cannot allow dark thoughts to turn into dark actions."

Terra sank back into his chair, his fight gone. A sudden wave of helplessness washed over him. "What can I do for her? How can I help Aqua?"

"Her recovery will not be easy for her. Be a friend; be aware of her wishes and moods." Eraqus paused and added some of the advice he had also given Ven. "Do not expect her to go back to how she was before. It may take months for her to recover; she may never be the Aqua she once was. Trauma changes people.”

Terra nodded, taking his Master's words to heart. "Sho-... can I go see her?"

"I think she would appreciate the company. Ventus has been attempting to cheer her up over the last few days." Eraqus sent his student off and turned to his desk. He had received a response from his old colleague.

* * *

 

The next several weeks passed without incident. Aqua's injuries healed and she threw herself back into her training with fervor. Eraqus watched carefully to ensure she wasn't working herself to exhaustion as a form of coping, but she didn't appear to be pushing at dangerous boundaries. Several days each week, he met with her privately for informal therapy sessions. Eraqus knew he had to pay special attention to the state of Aqua's heart. Trauma like hers could turn a previously light heart to darkness if left alone.

Aqua's heart had taken on new shades of darkness after her ordeal, they both could see that, and it was a new battle for them to put out the darkness before it grew. Still, Eraqus was hopeful. Aqua was beginning to heal. Her path wouldn't be easy, but he believed he would not lose his apprentice to the darkness.

If such things could even be said, there was one silver lining to the whole grim affair. Eraqus became aware of a gap in his student's training. Their combat skills, sans-keyblade, were sorely lacking. Of course they all had a firm grasp of the basics. Such skills were the base of fighting with a keyblade. But they lacked knowledge of more advanced techniques.

Terra and Aqua had received some instruction several years back, before Ven joined their ranks, but over the last few years, those lessons had fallen to the wayside. Ventus had been eager to prove himself to be equal in skill to the others, despite being several years younger than either of them. As for Terra and Aqua, Eraqus knew they weren't quite there yet, but in another year or so they would probably be ready to face the Mark of Mastery exam. When they had begun to move onto advanced keyblade techniques, they hadn't wanted to go back.

Of course, none of them had ever thought it would be possible to be without their keyblade. At least, not until recently.

Eraqus knew that his students understood this abrupt change in lessons, and they applied themselves to them quite seriously. Aqua appreciated the effort most, particularly for never once singling her out. She applied herself to the practice with a focus Eraqus hadn't seen in years. She ran through stances and motions with her face set in a determined mask. She picked up the new techniques faster than the others. And she went undefeated in the sparring ring in unarmed combat.

 

Terra hit the dirt hard on his back, the air rushing from his lungs in a harsh " _oof!_ " Aqua stood over him, victorious again. She smiled and offered her hand to help him up.

"Terra, you are still forgetting your feet," Eraqus called out as he paced around the ring.

"Yeah, I know," he said, brushing off some of the dirt. They had learned a new way to toss opponents, and Terra was missing something small that kept getting him chucked across the ring by Aqua. He turned to her. "Show me how you do it one more time."

Aqua walked him through the steps of the takedown. Terra was almost certain he was doing it the same way, but he still couldn't best Aqua.

"Ventus, it is your turn." Eraqus informed the younger boy, who had been taking some glee in watching Terra eat dirt for the last several matches. "I hope you have been paying attention."

The smile fell from Ven's face, but he maintained a jovial air. "No problem!" He declared, springing forward. He squared up with Aqua and declared that her reign in the ring was about to end.

Aqua smirked at the boy. Eraqus gave the command to start, and the first match was over ten seconds later. That cleared away any remaining cockiness in Ven. Eraqus didn't even bother offering a correction; Ven knew where he went wrong.

The second round lasted much longer. Ven made several good blocks and parries to Aqua's attempts to get him off balance, but neither of them was able to get a good hold to complete the throw. Aqua was skilled and controlled, but Ven was fast. After a couple minutes it became apparent that the victor of this match would be whoever tired first. Aqua had already gone several rounds by now; Ven was fresh and rested. On the other hand, Aqua had much more stamina than Ven.

Ven slowed down a touch and Aqua gained the upper hand.  The match would be over soon and Ven would be in the dirt. Then, something changed. It was subtle, but something had clearly distracted Aqua from the fight at hand. It only lasted a second, but it was all Ven needed to make his move. He broke Aqua's stance with a kick and grabbed her, bodily throwing her across the ring.

Aqua hit the ground. Ventus stood there, for a second looking shocked that he had actually done it, then with a whoop he threw his hands up and jumped for joy.

Eraqus was ready to scold him for exuberant celebration of victory, and point out where Ven could improve his technique. Terra hid a small smile, knowing that routine of teaching quite well from when he was Ven's age.

Aqua was slow to get up, probably a little winded and taking a slight reprieve while Eraqus lectured Ven. She paused on her knees, with one arm wrapped around her stomach and her other hand pressed tightly to her mouth.

Terra barely had time to think that she looked a bit pale before Aqua was retching.

The sound of vomiting abruptly cut off Eraqus and Ven. The Master hurried to his other pupil's side. Ven stood rooted to the spot, his eyes wide and horrified.

"Did I hurt her?"

"No, Ven, she probably just hit the ground a little hard, or didn't expect to be flipped," Terra was quick to insist. He had been caught off guard by a couple flips and they had made his stomach protest as well.

"I didn't want to hurt her," Ven said weakly.

"She'll be alright, Ven," Terra assured him.

If Aqua could have heard him, she would have disagreed. She hadn't mentioned anything to anyone, but a terrible thought was beginning to seem more and more like reality than a nightmare. It was enough to make her choke on the tears that were quick to rise.

"There, there, Aqua, it's alright. Just take deep breaths." Eraqus ran a comforting hand across her back.

Aqua tried, but breathing didn't seem to quite work properly. Her body felt weak and her legs felt numb. She began to shake and couldn't make her hands stop.

"Are you hurt?"

Aqua shook her head. Not from Ven's toss. It was something much deeper. "I- I can't," she gasped.

"Let's go inside. You can clean up and take a moment to rest." Eraqus moved to help Aqua to her feet, but she stopped him.

She grabbed his wrist, holding tightly despite her shaking. Then, speaking almost too softly to hear, she said, "Master, I... I think I'm pregnant."

Eraqus fell still, a wave of dread sweeping over his heart. "Are you certain?" He asked, keeping his voice low. The last thing they needed was to be overheard by the other two. "Being sick once doesn't-"

"It's more than that." Aqua sounded on the brink of tears.

Eraqus knew this was not the place to have this discussion. "Let's talk in the infirmary."

He helped Aqua to her feet and they made their way inside. Aqua sat on the infirmary bed, looking shaken enough that a slight breeze might send her toppling over. She was still pale and trembling, but she was breathing regularly again.

Eraqus waited until she took a few sips of water before asking, "Aqua, it's not that I doubt you, but are you certain?"

Aqua nodded, staring at her knees. "Yeah. I'm pretty sure."

Eraqus grimaced. This was beyond his scope. He was going to need additional help, but... writing a letter was one thing. Dropping in on his old friend out of the blue was something entirely different. It was a trip he never wanted to make but-

A stifled sob broke his thoughts. He placed a hand on Aqua's trembling shoulder.

He would do anything for his pupils.

"I know someone who can help."

* * *

 

Later that afternoon found Aqua following Master Eraqus up an unfamiliar street on an unfamiliar world. It was a quiet urban neighborhood of moderately sized houses packed densely together. In the street a group of children played a game with several balls, and busy adults walked briskly past. They came to a house, indistinguishable from its neighbors except for the forest green door.

Eraqus walked right up to the door, but hesitated a moment before knocking. After a moment, the door was answered by an older woman. She had to be close to the Master's age, with magenta hair that had gone dull and silvered with age, and dark green eyes that nearly matched her door. Her brow furrowed when she saw who they were.

"Eraqus." She said in an unexpectedly icy tone.

"Ophelia. May I introduce my student, Aqua."

They woman's eyes flicked to Aqua, and her face softened a bit. "Come in, I suppose." She stepped aside and led them into a cozy sitting room. A couch and a few armchairs were arranged around a low coffee table and several bookshelves lined the walls. One bookshelf seemed to be dedicated to children and play. The lower shelves had books and toys, the upper shelves held pictures of various children and some more breakable mementos. From Ophelia's children or grandchildren perhaps?

There was enough magic in the air of the house to make Aqua's hair stand on end, and the other shelves in the sitting room were full of books on magic and medicine. And there, above the mantle, was a crest that Aqua was familiar with from her travels and studies. Ophelia was a witch.

Why had Master Eraqus brought her to a witch? Aqua sank into a seat on the couch quite happily. Her legs still felt weak and shakey.

"You know, it's polite to call ahead or write before dropping in after thirty-five years," Ophelia said to Eraqus. She waved her hand and a tea tray appeared on the coffee table between them. "But this isn't a social call, is it?" She looked to Aqua again, and her gaze softened into sympathy.

"You do still practice, don't you?" Eraqus asked. "You didn't say in your letter."

"Yeah, I still work at the center." She sighed softly and looked to Aqua. "My dear, Eraqus told me what you went through a couple months ago. I am so sorry you ever had to face that." Aqua didn't quite know how to respond, but Ophelia continued talking, saving her from having to try. "I take it you are here because there have been new _developments_."

"Yes." Aqua whispered to her knees.

"Let's go back to my office then. We'll want to be certain."

Aqua followed Ophelia into another room that looked to serve as a small clinic space.

"How much has Eraqus told you about what I do?" Ophelia asked after she closed the door behind them.

"Not much. I know you were colleagues once."

"Colleagues?" Ophelia raised an incredulous brow. "Is that what he's calling it?"

"Calling what?"

Ophelia shook her head slightly. "It’s not important now. To properly introduce myself, I am Ophelia Bering, witch and medical doctor. I have spent my career working at what we call a Crisis Center. The long and short of it is that I serve people in situations like yours."

"Serve how?" Aqua was beginning to feel nervous and nauseous.

"However they need. I can provide medical care and post-trauma counseling. I can offer pre- and post-natal support, or eliminate the need for those altogether. Whatever a patient needs. Now, I know the basic details of what you went through, you do not need to go through it again if you don't wish to. I just need to know, are you here because you think you're pregnant?"

"Yes."

"What makes you think that?"

Aqua rattled of a list of symptoms she had been experiencing for a month or so. They checked the boxes for early pregnancy, but didn't necessarily signify so. Still, Ophelia knew these weren't the wholly unfounded fears of a young woman in a panic.

"I have a simple spell to verify," Ophelia explained. "If you would lie down on the couch, we'll know in minute."

Aqua did as told and she shut her eyes tight as the warmth of healing magic washed over her. She hardly breathed; equally not wanting to see, but dying to know. If she looked, it was real, if she kept her eyes shut it could remain nothing more than a nightmare for a few seconds longer. She was a second away from resolving to open her eyes and look when the magic disappeared.

"You can open your eyes now, hun." Ophelia said gently.

Aqua sat up, her hands were shaking again. "Was it?"

"It was positive." Years of experience had Ophelia ready to support the girl when all the strength left her body. She held her close, cradling her, and allowing her to cry all she needed. A lifetime of this kind of work still hadn't made it any easier. But Ophelia would be a pillar of strength, an unshakable foundation of support, because that was what her patients needed.

Aqua was still weeping when she pulled away, but Ophelia let her draw back. She handed over a box of tissues. "Take all the time you need to absorb this. I'm right here for you. When you're ready, we can discuss the next step."

 

Aqua left the exam room feeling rather numb, but also calmer than she had felt in weeks. She had spent well over an hour talking with Ophelia, unloading some pent up emotions she hadn't even shared with Master Eraqus. She had always thought she could confide in her Master before, but confiding in Ophelia was wholly different and better. Maybe because the witch was an external party, someone Aqua only learned of a short time ago. Maybe it was because Ophelia had dedicated her life to helping people like Aqua, and she just knew better what to do and say. It wasn't that Aqua didn't appreciate Master Eraqus' efforts, but she was also grateful that Ophelia had already offered her services for Aqua any time she needed them in the future.

Aqua was certain she was going to be seeing a lot of Ophelia in the future. She had decided to see the pregnancy through. She had spent a long time grappling with the possibilities ever since she had begun to suspect she was pregnant several weeks back, balancing all of the pros and cons. In the end, Aqua couldn't bring herself to take the offered termination. Despite the child's horrid origins, Aqua didn't think it was fair to not give them a fighting chance to make the world a better place. A few months of sacrifice on Aqua's behalf could bring great joy to a family who desperately wanted a child of their own. It seemed like the best way to make something good come from all of this darkness.

Master Eraqus was still waiting in the sitting room. He was standing at the children's bookshelf, studying one picture in particular with a melancholy, mournful expression. It disappeared though when he turned to Aqua.

"Your decision?"

"I'm going to have it, and give it up for adoption."

Eraqus nodded solemnly. "I know this is not something you have considered lightly, Aqua. I will support you however you need."

"Thank you, Master." Aqua twitched, taking a half step forward before she stopped and crossed her arms tightly.

Eraqus knew what she wanted, but probably thought herself too old for such things. "Come here." He opened his arms. Aqua finished stepping towards him and he wrapped her in a tight hug.

"Tell me I'm not making a mistake," she whispered hoarsely.

Eraqus took a moment to respond, because honestly he wasn't sure this wasn't a mistake. But the nature of growth and strength is not to avoid mistakes all together, but to learn from them. Mistake or not, Aqua was choosing to have this baby, and it would change her in more ways than one. Eraqus just had to hope that at the end of it all, Aqua's heart was stronger from the light and not the darkness.

But such philosophies were not what his pupil wanted to hear at the moment. "Of course it's not a mistake, Aqua." Eraqus saw Ophelia's slight approving nod and continued. "You have a heart that is strong, and pure, and full of light, and any child born of that light will be like you."

Ophelia flashed a small smile to Eraqus. Even after all these years, he still believed in the best in others.

Her eyes went to the same photograph that Eraqus had been studying so intently. It was a young boy of four years old on the shoulders of his father at a parade or festival of some kind. The frame was too small for the entire photo. It had been the only one Ophelia had at the time she received the picture. The father had been folded out of the way to keep the boy in frame, leaving only his forehead in frame. One day, Ophelia would have to get a better frame for the picture.

She looked back to the others, once Aqua stepped away from the hug and dried her tears, and said, "I'm sure you're eager to return home, but before you go we have a little more to discuss."

* * *

 

Aqua had asked to be the one to break the news to Terra and Ventus. She wanted to do that on her own terms. Eraqus had thought that best. But the remainder of the afternoon has passed without him hearing anything remotely close to an outburst from any of his students. Eraqus began preparing himself mentally for their reactions, knowing they would probably be told before the day was out.

Terra, protective to a fault, would either respond with an outpouring of support for Aqua, or more anger directed to the men who had done this. Perhaps both. Ventus would be a bit of a wild card. Despite having no real memory from before Xehanort left him here, there were certain things that the boy just knew, and clearly had remembered. He hadn't been a completely blank slate, like and infant. He remembered some of the ways the world worked.

Aqua was quiet at dinner. In fact, the whole meal had been quiet. Terra and Ventus knew that something was wrong, considering Eraqus and Aqua had disappeared to another world for several hours that afternoon. But they hadn’t taken to bombarding Aqua with questions, yet. The whole meal had passed with awkward tension, and it was only a matter of time before someone demanded an explanation.

“So,” Aqua said, breaking an uncomfortably long silence. She felt every eye on her, and the attention made her study her plate. She drew a deep breath and looked at her family. Ven smiled weakly at her. Terra was frowning in concern. Eraqus gave her a look that conveyed his full support.

“S-so, I’m pregnant.”

Terra drew in a sharp breath, his eyes widening in horror, his hands clenched into fists.

Ven’s eyes widened too, but in surprise. “What? How?”

“Not now, Ventus.” Eraqus said quickly.

The boy shut his mouth, but he was still clearly confused.

Something sick and dark was settling into the pit of Terra’s stomach. He looked at Aqua’s carefully guarded expression. “What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to give it up for adoption.” Aqua stated with firm conviction. She felt the weight of everybody’s gaze on her and it suddenly felt like too much. “I just… I wanted everyone to know. Excuse me.” She got up and left without another word.

Terra watched her leave and then turned to Eraqus for explanation. “Master!”

“This was Aqua’s decision, Terra. As difficult as it may be, we must respect her wishes.”

Terra ducked his head. He didn’t understand why Aqua thought having a baby like that was the right way to do things, but Master Eraqus was right: it wasn’t _his_ decision, or the Master’s, or anyone else’s. It was Aqua’s choice.

And she had chosen a mistake.

“I’m just… confused.” Ventus said, looking to Eraqus for clarification.

“I know, Ven.” Eraqus looked to his youngest apprentice. “We have much to discuss.”

Terra automatically reached for dishes to clear them up. “Go ahead, Master. I’ll clean up.” He needed some time to himself to think things through.

“We’ll talk later, Terra,” Eraqus promised before leading Ven off.

Fifteen minutes later, Terra had washed all of the dishes, and was ready to go look for Aqua. He had mentally prepared his argument for Aqua, trying to convince her that having that baby was a horrible idea. What would that mean for her training? For her progress to Mastery?

Terra and Aqua had been friends for as long as either of them could remember. In the orphanage, they had been drawn to each other, had become fast friends, were as thick as thieves. They were siblings, if not by blood, then certainly by bond. Terra had been the one to draw Master Eraqus’ attention as a future keyblade wielder, but Aqua wasn’t about to be left behind or outdone.

They entered their training together. They had done everything together; matching step for step the entire way. They were supposed to become Keyblade Masters together, and now this baby that she shouldn’t have even had in the first place was going to ruin everything!

 

Aqua was up on the summit, sitting on a bench, staring up at the sky. In the gathering dark, some stars were just beginning to appear. She said nothing as Terra approached, and he sat beside her wordlessly.

“You think I’m making a mistake, don’t you?” She asked before Terra even had a chance to speak.

She knew him so well.

“I don’t want to lie to you, Aqua.”

“I know.” She looked directly at him. “Truth be told, I’m not entirely sure I’m _not_ making a mistake. But… but I’ve made up my mind.”

“You’re allowed to change your mind.” Terra was finding his convictions falling away by the second. Aqua was clearly torn up about this, it couldn’t be easy. If she had reached a decision, then who was he to try and convince her otherwise?

“I know, but I don’t think I will.” Aqua began explaining her reasoning behind seeing the pregnancy through.

Terra gave up on trying to argue the counter point before he even started. He reached over and pulled Aqua into a side hug.  “It doesn’t make sense to me, Aqua, but if that’s what you want to do, I’ll be here for you.”

Aqua leaned into the hug, resting her head on Terra’s shoulder. “Thank you, Terra, for trying to understand.”

“You know, this means I’ll probably make Mastery before you,” Terra teased.

“As if,” Aqua laughed lightly. “Master Eraqus think he knows a way I can keep up with my training without relying too much on the physical exertion. Obviously, I’ll have to stop that for the time being.”

Terra fell still as a new realization dawned on him. “Aqua… how long have you thought you might be pregnant?”

“Um, a month or so?”

“Aqua!” Terra sprang to his feet, running his hands through his hair in full freak-out mode. “We’ve been sparring almost every day for two months!”

“I-I know.”

“Why didn’t you say anything sooner? What if we had hurt you?!”

“But you didn’t!” Aqua got up and caught Terra by the arm before he could panic himself too close to the edge. “The doctor said that everything was fine, the baby is healthy.”

“Yeah, but-“

“No, ‘buts,’ Terra, I wasn’t hurt. What happened is already past. In the future, I’ll be more careful.”

Terra exhaled explosively, and pulled Aqua into a hug, resting his chin atop her head. “Just… take care of yourself. I never want to see you hurt.”

She squeezed him tighter, pressing her forehead into his chest. She didn’t bother mentioning that it was already past the point of avoiding this situation entirely. The hurt had already happened.

 

Later that night, Aqua was in her room, skimming through the book Ophelia had sent home with her. It was informative, and more than a little intimidating. Aqua had skipped ahead a little to see what she would have to dealing with later in the pregnancy and had promptly decided that if she wanted to sleep that night, she was not going to read that quite yet.

There was a timid knock on her door.

“C’mon in.” Aqua marked her place and set the book aside.

Ven inched the door open and took a small step inside. His eyes were troubled and he fidgeted with one of his wristbands.

Aqua frowned; Ven hadn’t even changed out of his clothes for the day yet. “Ven, it’s so late. What are you doing up?”

“I um, I couldn’t sleep.”

Aqua scooted over a bit to make room on the bed and patted the empty space, inviting Ven to sit. He obliged, and settled in across from her, crossing his legs, still fiddling with his wristband.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Aqua didn’t miss the fact that Ven’s eyes seemed to be on her stomach. It was not surprising. Ven was the only one left who hadn’t said anything about her pregnancy. Undoubtedly, Eraqus had talked him through some gaps in his education (an awkward enough experience, if she remembered).

“I didn’t know,” Ven began. He paused and cleared his throat. “I didn’t understand how bad it was… what they did to you.” He looked up to her, and there were tears swimming in his eyes. “Are you gonna be okay?”

“Oh, Ven.” Aqua pulled the boy into a hug. “I’ll be okay. After all, I have you and Terra and Master Eraqus here for me.”

Ven squeezed her tightly, and then pulled back. Aqua ruffled his hair affectionately as he sat back.

“So, there really is a baby in there, huh?” Ven poked at Aqua’s stomach gently.

“Yep. About the size of a kidney bean, according to my book.”

A tender expression crossed Ven’s face. “Aww, it’s just a lil’ bean.”

Aqua almost warned Ven against nicknaming the baby, and getting too attached, but his soft smile stopped her. Ven got attached to everyone and everything. Fighting this would just be starting a losing battle. “Yeah, if only it would stay bean-sized.”

“It’s gonna be weird,” Ven declared, “Seeing you like that in a few months.”

“I assure you, it’s going to be a lot weirder _experiencing_ it,” Aqua laughed.

“Hah! Yeah that’s probably true.” Ven paused for a moment, chewing his bottom lip. Then he cracked a crooked smile. “I still can’t believe I managed to beat you earlier today. So much for your undefeated reign of the ring.”

Aqua gasped and lightly punched Ven in the arm. “You only won because I was about two seconds away from puking all over you.” She then admitted with a shrug, “It was a good throw though.”

“No way, I still would have won!” Ven then launched into explaining his strategy for finally triumphing over Aqua in the sparring ring. He went on for several minutes until he was interrupted by his own wide yawn.

Aqua was unable to resist echoing the yawn. “Alright, it’s late,” she declared. “You need to go to bed, Ven. You’re going to be training only with Terra and Master Eraqus for the next few months and you know they like to start early.”

“Oh man,” Ven slumped forward. “I forgot about dawn runs. Can’t I just hide in here until after the sun is up?”

“Nope.” Aqua had survived her own fair share of dawn runs with the family’s early birds. It was very important for Ven to master the art of running and sleeping at the same time. She shoved him off the bed. “Go get some sleep, Ven, you’re going to need it.”

“Well what about you?” Ven asked, stumbling to his feet.

Aqua grinned back impishly, realizing that this whole pregnancy might just have one benefit for her. “No dawn runs for me for the next seven months.”

Ven’s jaw fell open when he realized that Aqua was looking forward to over half a year of mornings without dawn runs or other trainings. She was going to be able to sleep in at least an hour later than he was going to _every day_. Lucky!

Then he abruptly stopped himself. Feeling a bit guilty, he took back his last thought. Considering what Aqua had gone through, what she was going to go through… maybe she wasn’t so lucky. A year’s worth of dawn runs was probably easier than having a baby.

“Good night, Aqua. I’m here to help if you ever need anything, yeah?”

Aqua smiled softly. “Good night, Ven.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aqua progresses through her second trimester, does some soul searching, and some prying into business that she probably shouldn't stick her nose into.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long awaited update!
> 
> This chapter has it all! Feels, angst, back story, confusing mixed feelings, characters not being as nice as they should be!
> 
> I'm gonna be perfectly honest, this chapter is only getting posted because I got a lovely review on the first chapter that kicked me in the pants to pull my act together and keep working on the story. This is probably a very cliche and tired line by now, but I really do thrive on feedback. I know how the story ends in my head, and if it doesn't look like there's much interest in seeing it through on paper, my muse and inspiration take a loooong vacation together. I'm going to do my best to wrangle them and keep them close until I can finish. Hopefully the next chapter won't take 3 months to complete.

**Chapter 2**

 

Days passed and turned into weeks, and Aqua began to show a noticeable little swell in her belly. Her first trimester passed without much trouble or inconvenience. She had been dreading some of the harsher symptoms of pregnancy that she had read about, but aside from feeling more tired than normal and rather mild morning sickness, she appeared to have gotten off rather easily.

Really the worst she noticed was a rather sudden and severe aversion to raw or cooking meat. Once it was cooked and plated it was fine, but Aqua found she absolutely could not stand the sight or smell of any of the in-between processes from the refrigerator to the plate. Even that was easy to overcome, once she realized what was setting off her nausea; Aqua simply chose strictly vegetarian dishes when it was her turn to cook.

After she got into her second trimester, even that problem seemed to disappear. Aqua wasn’t going to complain if it meant that the pregnancy was easier on her.

After the initial upset of her announcement, things began to settle into a normal routine. Aqua had been barred from any sparring, or doing much in the way of extreme physical activity. She could still run through some of the more basic forms of blade work, but anything that required extra acrobatics was strictly off the table. To keep her days full and her mind busy, Aqua delved deeply into her study of magic.

They keyblade provided a focus and instrument to wield their magic, but theoretically, it was not impossible for one to learn to use magic without any kind of aid tool. True, most magic users relied on some kind of staff or wand to direct their powers, but it was not a requirement.

Aqua’s new project became learning how to wield magic without the keyblade.

She took to spending hours of each day in the library, poring over ancient and dusty tomes of magic. Some of which, even Master Eraqus hadn’t read before. The more she began to understand about magic, the stronger her spell work became, but Aqua hit a road block when it came to letting go of her keyblade.

She could cast Blizzard strong enough to coat the walls of a whole wing of the castle in frost, but without her keyblade she couldn’t do so much as conjure tiny sparks of Thunder at her fingertips. She hadn’t given over to frustration quite yet, but there were some days when her friends knew she needed a distraction more than time alone in the library.

Ophelia was making trips every other week or so to check in on Aqua. She opted to travel in her own ship, a craft that was resistant to the darkness of the lanes between the worlds, rather than exposing Aqua to it any more than was strictly necessary. Consequently, that also meant Aqua was no longer running any missions.

Discovering that she was now bound to the Land of Departure hadn’t sat well with Aqua at first, but her restlessness passed after a week or so. There was plenty to do at home to stave off boredom, even if it couldn’t quite compare to traveling to other worlds. Of more interest was the respectful, if rather cold, distance Eraqus and Ophelia kept with each other.

It hadn’t taken the students long to realize that there was more in the past than just being former colleagues. Naturally, the speculations ran wild amongst the three of them.

What had started as icy distance between Eraqus and Ophelia had begun to turn to something more personal with each trip. It hadn't turned into open contempt, but the students were beginning to see that there were some old wounds that had never fully healed. And the fact that neither of the elders appeared to even want to begin talking about it was just making things deteriorate faster.

Terra had thought that perhaps it would be best to leave what had happened in the past in the past, but Aqua wasn't about to let whatever was bothering her mentor go unchecked. She was allowed to take care of him, just as he took care of her. Ven was on board with Aqua's plan. With Ophelia becoming a semi-regular fixture at the castle, he hated to see whatever growing conflict there was between the two.

Aqua took the task of unearthing the past upon her shoulders. Terra was trying to keep his hands clean of the whole affair, and Ven had no tact. She had tried a few subtle attempts to get the story from Master Eraqus, and then something more direct. Each time he dismissed her inquiries. After one particularly firm dismissal, she put the issue to bed for a while.

"Please, Aqua," he had snapped with a deeply pained expression she had never seen before. "Just leave it be."

She had apologized and dropped it. But as the weeks passed, Aqua was afraid her prodding had done more harm than she ever intended. More than once, she caught Eraqus staring at her with a pained, distant expression that she knew wasn't directed at her. His mind was on other things, other times and places.

Finally, Aqua couldn't stand seeing her Master suffer alone and quietly. They were alone in the library and there was little chance of Terra or Ven interrupting them for a while.

Aqua was working on another dusty volume of ancient magic, but her heart wasn't much in her research. Her eighteen week check-up had been that morning, Ophelia had offered to discern the sex or the baby. Aqua had refused.

When Eraqus asked why she didn't want to know, Aqua told him that she didn't want to start getting too attached. It was bad enough that Ven kept referring to the baby as the Lil’ Bean, and Aqua had started calling the baby by the same nickname in her head.

"If I know what they are, I'll give them a name. It doesn't really make sense, considering..." she trailed off, her hand over her belly. "I know I can't keep them. I don't want to, but I can't help feeling for them. The more I get attached, the more it will hurt when they go.” She sighed. “Sometimes I wish I could just be completely detached from this whole affair."

"A Heart like yours gives freely and openly to all, Aqua. Do not despair at a gift like that. It is a gift of the Light and through it you give Light to others."

Aqua smiled sadly. "I know, Master, I just wish it could be easier."

"Our humanity is based on our ability to connect to others. Those very connections are what make Hearts. To wish that away is to wish away your Heart. We are not meant to find losing a child so easy." A profoundly sad expression settled into Eraqus’ face. Aqua was about to say something, but he stood up before she could open her mouth. “I just remembered a scroll you may find useful for your studies. Let me see if I can go find it.” He didn’t meet her eye as he walked off into the stacks.

Aqua said nothing as he disappeared. She looked down at her stomach, still a rather small swell that could easily be hidden under loser clothes if necessary. But today had been rather warm and Aqua had opted for a tighter, sleeveless shirt to combat the heat. Already, there was no mistaking that Aqua was pregnant. Her slight and fit figure meant that the baby showed easier with no body fat to hide behind. She rubbed a small circle around her belly with her fingers.

Master Eraqus had a valid point. She shouldn’t expect it to be easy for her heart to give up on the baby, even given the circumstances of their creation. Aqua had a long history of falling in love with small, defenseless things. (The less said about the time she tried to secretly shelter every poor stray animal she found in her own bedroom the better.) But when it came to the baby, at what point should she draw the line?

They were depending on her to nurture and bring them to life. She had to care about them while they were still dependent on her. But would caring for them include some of the bonding exercises she had read about? Would it be better if she named the baby? Spoke to them? Listened to soothing music? Were there certain hormones that the baby needed that they wouldn’t get unless she tried loving them?

If they weren’t loved enough in the womb, would their Heart take more after the man who had fathered them, rather than the woman who had birthed them?

But what if Aqua got _too_ attached? Even if she would be eighteen before the baby was born, there was no way she could ever keep them. Her greatest dream was to be a Keyblade Master; the baby hadn’t changed that. She and Terra were supposed to become Masters together, just as they had done with almost everything throughout their training. Aqua couldn’t keep the baby. It would throw everything more off track than it already was. If she had to wait until the baby was old enough to go without her for weeks at a time before she could take up her training again, she might never become a Master.

But to leave the baby as an orphan…

Aqua had realized rather early in the pregnancy that the circumstances of her own birth were probably very similar to the baby’s. She couldn’t help but imagine that eighteen years prior another young woman was in the same circumstances as her, facing the same questions and options, and had decided that giving up an unborn Aqua was her best option as well.

Aqua didn’t remember too much about her early childhood. She had been left at the orphanage as a newborn, and her childhood had been a comfortable one. The orphanage she and Terra grew up in kept them well fed and educated and cared for, but every child there who was old enough to understand knew that they were there because they were not wanted. Aqua hadn’t really been bothered by that fact. She had always believed that a family was out there for her and she would find them eventually. Terra, a couple years older than her and oftentimes overlooked by adopters, was a little more jaded. Before Eraqus had discovered the future keyblade wielders, Terra was beginning to fear that he may never find a family.

Aqua’s thoughts were interrupted when Eraqus returned with the promised scroll in hand. He looked as calm as ever, but there was still a deep sadness in his eye. He handed her the scroll with a quiet, “This may help,” before returning to his own work.

Aqua thanked him and unrolled the scroll across her desk. She studied it for a minute or two, but didn’t really absorb any of the words or diagrams. Her focus and will to study was absolutely shattered. Between her thoughts of the baby and Master Eraqus’ mournful mood, she could spend the rest of the day reading the scroll and retain nothing.

She couldn’t take it any longer. Aqua might not be able to change anything in regards to the baby at the moment, but there was one thing under her control.

"Master, I should apologize."

"For what, Aqua?"

"For sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. For making you remember whatever it is that has made you so... upset."

Eraqus breathed a laugh, small and disheartened. "You're perceptive as always, Aqua, and here I thought I was hiding it so well."

Aqua dared a small smirk at the lightly sarcastic lilt to his last words. "The temperature of the castle drops several degrees when you share a room with Ophelia, and after her visits you're much quieter." She stopped and continued more soberly. "I shouldn't have tried digging into whatever history you two share."

"Thank you, Aqua."

"It's just... it's clear that whatever happened was painful."

"Aqua, what happened was so long ago."

"Just because it has passed doesn't mean it no longer hurts." Aqua threw back Eraqus' own council back at him. "How many times have you told me that over the last five months?"

"My burdens are not yours to bear."

"And mine are yours? Master, you've always been a great source of strength and comfort for me, even more so in recent months. You're like a father to me, and I think it's about time I start giving back." Then, knowing full well the manipulative pull the action would have, Aqua laid a hand over her stomach and said, "I just can't stand seeing you suffer like this."

Eraqus frowned at her, realizing he had just lost the game he had been avoiding playing for weeks now. He couldn't deny Aqua when she made that earnest and caring face. It reminded him so much of—

He sighed and bowed his head. "Alright, if you insist." He took a moment to gather his thoughts. "There was a time when I left the path of the Keyblade Masters.” He saw Aqua’s eyebrows rise in surprise, but she said nothing. He continued, “I lived and trained under my Master on the world Scala ad Caelum. In my youth, I fell in love with a young witch, training at a nearby academy."

"Ophelia," Aqua breathed.

Eraqus nodded and continued. "We dated through our teens and married once we were of age. Against the advice of our respective Masters," he added a touch ruefully.

Aqua half-smiled, delighted to learn her Master had a rebellious streak in his youth.

"Ophelia reached the point in her training when she was required to move to another world to complete her education. I did not feel that I was making suitable progress in my training, so it was an easy choice for me to leave with her." The shadow of a tender smile fell on his lips. "We had a child together in that new world. A son."

His smile fell, and so did Aqua's heart. She was almost afraid to ask, "What happened?"

"When he was four an epidemic swept across the world. It wiped out a sizeable portion of the population, mostly affecting the very old and the very young. Our son included."

Aqua's heart broke for her Master. She swallowed the lump in her throat.

"In my grief, I returned to the only other place I called home. I resumed my training as Keyblade Master and did my best to put my past behind me."

Aqua looked down at the now abandoned scroll. “I’m sorry, Master. That must have been unbearably hard to go through. I’m sorry for prying into it and making you remember something like that.”

“Your asking isn’t what brought those memories to the surface, Aqua,” Eraqus said softly.

She folded her hands over her belly. No, it wasn’t that she was digging into his past. If was that she was pregnant, and making him remember his own lost child. It was that she was seeing his ex-wife almost every week, bringing her into the castle, into his citadel.

Then something occurred to Aqua. “The first time you saw Ophelia since… it was that first day we went to her, wasn’t it?”

Eraqus nodded.

How long had Ophelia said it had been? Thirty-five years? Had they really gone that long without talking about what happened? No wonder there was so much tension between them.

“You have to talk to her!” Aqua declared.

“There’s nothing to talk about. Not after all this time.”

“That’s not true. What happened in the past still bothers you, and it clearly still bothers her. You can’t let something like that go unresolved for so long. You both deserve some closure.”

“She doesn’t want to talk to me,” Eraqus said with such resignation and defeat.

“You won’t know until you ask.”

 

* * *

 

The matter had mostly been put to rest over the next two weeks, until Ophelia was scheduled for another check-up.  Aqua hadn’t yet told Terra or Ven what she had learned about their Master. It felt wrong to gossip about something so heartbreaking – at least until Eraqus and Ophelia spoke to each other.

The doctor was back for Aqua’s twenty week check-up. She was officially halfway through the pregnancy and everything was looking perfectly fine from a medical perspective. From a psychological perspective, though, things weren’t so good.

After hearing Eraqus’ story, Aqua had suddenly become rather hesitant about the prospect of adoption. A thousand new thoughts and worries sprang up in her mind. What if the baby grew up never knowing who their mother was? What if she did know her child and hand to watch them be raised by strangers from a far? What if the baby got sick? Died? What if they tore another family apart? Or brought one together? What if they were never adopted and grew up in an orphanage? What if they became a cruel and hateful person? What if they changed the world?

Every possibility had its own contradiction that made Aqua’s head and heart hurt when she lingered on them too much. But when she finally picked through everything, she reached one impossible conclusion. Something she couldn’t – didn’t want to admit.

“So you didn’t look at any of the information I left with you last time?” Ophelia’s tone was not accusatory or even disappointed. She watched Aqua with mild curiosity, knowing her patient’s thoughts were a thousand miles away from the profiles of potential adopters she had left behind.

Aqua fiddled with a loose thread on her cuff. “Ah, no. I didn’t really look at them. Sorry.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. You still have plenty of time before you need to make a decision.” Ophelia set aside her notepad and fixed Aqua with a searching look. “What’s on your mind, dear?”

Aqua’s hands dropped into her lap and she looked down at them. “I don’t… it’s not… it might be too personal…”

“There’s nothing I will consider too personal to talk about. What would you like to know?”

Aqua was certain that Ophelia thought _this_ was going to be too personal, but she asked anyway. “What’s it like to lose a child?”

To her great surprise, Ophelia actually smiled. It was small and bittersweet, but it was still gentle and kind. “Eraqus finally told you.”

Aqua nodded. “A couple weeks back.”

Ophelia considered her next words carefully before saying, “Losing a child to death is both wholly different and rather similar to giving a child up for adoption. I’ve never had to give a child up for adoption, but I’ve witnessed countless of both circumstances over my life. It’s different for every person.”

Aqua nodded mutely, her hands gently stroking over her belly. Ophelia studied her carefully. She understood now where Aqua’s thoughts had been. By now, Aqua would definitely be feeling the baby’s movements, and for almost everyone, that was the moment when things became very suddenly real. Realizing that the baby growing inside you would be their own person in just a few months often times sent mothers making quantum leaps in perspective.

“Are you reconsidering your decision to give the baby up or adoption?” Ophelia prompted gently.

Aqua fell still and then said, “Yes.”

“Okay. Talk me through it. What’s changed your mind?”

“A million things, I can’t really pick one.” Aqua admitted with a shrug. “Every time I think I’ve settled on one decision, I remember the alternatives and I can’t figure out which one will be best.”

“There’s not always a perfect solution, Aqua. Every decision will have its own pros and cons. It’s up to you, and the people you trust to figure out what outweighs the other.”

“Every option just makes me feel selfish and guilty.”

“Aqua, I want you to listen to me very carefully,” Ophelia instructed, sitting forward in her seat. This was far from the first time she had a patient with the same feelings. “What happened to you was not your fault. This baby is not a punishment. You did not ask to be pregnant; you did not choose to get pregnant. This baby exists only because of a matter of bad timing and evil men. You did nothing wrong, and you have no reason to see the baby as a punishment or penance. You are under no obligation to choose one way or another and any decision you make is absolutely guilt-free.”

Aqua sniffed and wiped her eyes. “I have a hard time remembering that. But I… I’m…” she still couldn’t bring herself to say it.

Ophelia knew what she was trying to say. “You’re beginning to grow attached to the baby.”

“I know I shouldn’t, but-”

“There is no should or shouldn’t, Aqua. What you’re feeling is perfectly natural. From a biological perspective, your body is flooded with hormones that, among other things, inspire feelings of love, bonding, and attachment. From an emotional perspective, you’re a kind, empathetic, compassionate woman, nurturing a life inside you. You can’t help but begin to fall in love, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

“But… but what if I fall too much in love with the baby? What if I decide to keep it?”

“What if you do?”

“I – I probably won’t become a Keyblade Master any time soon. But my baby will be here, and I know they would be so loved by everybody here. They would grow up like I did; learning magic and the keyblade and seeing other worlds. I wouldn’t have to say good bye to them.”

“Okay. And what if you didn’t keep the baby?”

“Some other family who desperately wants a baby would have them. They would probably be better cared for and raised safe and secure and loved. I would be able to pick up my training again and Terra and I could become Keyblade Masters together, like we’ve always planned.”

“And tell me what is so selfish about either of those plans?”

“Well…” Aqua thought for a moment, trying to figure out how best to put her confusing turmoil into words. “If I keep the baby, I’m putting my heart before their future. But if I give the baby up, I’m putting my future before their heart.”

Ophelia hummed thoughtfully. That was rather succinct and insightful for someone as young as Aqua. She recognized Eraqus’ influence on her in that moment. In fact, Aqua had unwittingly repeated her Master’s own words almost verbatim from nearly forty years ago when they were discussing their future together. She wondered if he ever saw how much his students took after him.

“Aqua, unfortunately there is no right or wrong answer that I can just tell you. I wish there were, it would make my job that much easier. Your heart and your future don’t have to be at odds with each other. Think about it some more, remember that you hold no obligation one way or another. If you feel comfortable doing so, talk things over with Eraqus, or Terra, or even Ven. They may offer insight that you haven’t considered.”

“I’ll… I’ll think about it.” Aqua could already imagine how the guys would react if she brought up the hypothetical possibility of keeping the baby, and she didn’t see either of them helping sway her thoughts one way or the other.

“All you have to do is try.” Ophelia picked up her notepad again and straightened in her seat. “Now, I want to go back to the feelings of selfishness you brought up earlier…”

 

Half an hour later, Aqua left Ophelia with the promise to take a serious look at the profiles she had left for potential adopters. Her session had been really good, and Ophelia was certain they made progress on working through Aqua’s unearned guilt about the baby. Though, the doctor was almost certain that some of Aqua’s guilt was tied to another in the castle – and he was waiting for her.

“Eraqus.” Ophelia heard her voice go flat. It was automatic. Half a lifetime of resentment didn’t just resolve itself over the course of a few months.

“Ophelia.” He paused, almost hesitating over his next question much in the same way he had when they were fourteen and he was asking her out on their first date – nervous and egged on by someone else’s wishes. “Do you have time to talk?”

“I suppose we should.”

She silently followed him to his office, and neither of them spoke until the door was closed behind them. Ophelia didn’t take the offered chair. Eraqus didn’t sit behind his desk. He hovered uncomfortably near the door willing himself to bring up what he needed to say.

Instead he opted for the safe, neutral ground. “How is Aqua?”

“Doing about as well as can be expected. She’s becoming attached to the baby.”

Eraqus nodded. “Yes, I know. She mentioned it a couple weeks ago.”

“Was that before or after you told her about Milo?” Ophelia didn’t feel like dancing around the subject any longer. Their son and their past together was the proverbial elephant in the room. It was best to just address it directly – something Eraqus had never been particularly fond of doing.

“Before,” Eraqus said quietly. He finally stepped across the room and stood before Ophelia, his head bowed in attrition. “I don’t quite know what to say… where to start. An apology doesn’t seem like it will ever be enough. I know I hurt you. And you still must be hurting.”

Ophelia crossed her arms tightly. “I would expect a Master of the Keyblade to know that there are some wounds a Heart can take that even time won’t heal,” she shot back rather icily.

“I know leaving like that was wrong and cowardly…”

“It wasn’t that you _left_ , Eraqus,” Ophelia said with an exasperated huff. “I could understand and forgive your need to go back to some place familiar for comfort. It was the fact that when I came after you, and I begged at the door for my husband to come see me, you couldn’t even face me yourself. You were my husband, Eraqus. We were supposed to be there for each other through the worst period of our lives. And – and you sent me away without even speaking to me.”

Eraqus bowed his head. “That has always been one of my greatest regrets. What I did was unforgivable.”

“Hard to forgive but not entirely unforgivable,” Ophelia admitted quietly. She sighed and her anger evaporated. “Eraqus, I spent a long time hating you with every fiber of my being, but now… it’s been years since I hated you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to fully forgive you…”

“I don’t expect you to, Ophelia. I don’t ask for you to forgive me. I don’t deserve it.”

“You made a mistake, Eraqus. One that caused irreparable damage, but a mistake none the less. I know your actions were born of heartbreak not malice.” She hesitantly reached out and took her ex-husband’s hand. “We’ll never be able to go back, but I think we can both agree to not let the past continue to taint the present and future.”

Eraqus gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “Yes. I think we can.”

Ophelia flashed him a weak smile, and she saw in his eye a flicker of the same boy she had fallen in love with half a lifetime ago. “You could start with a real apology,” she said, half-teasing.

He held both her hands and looked deep into her eyes. “I am deeply sorry, Ophelia, for my cowardice, for running away, and for hurting you.”

This time, Ophelia squeezed his hands. “I acknowledge your apology, Eraqus. Thank you.”

She wasn’t ready to forgive quite yet. But someday she may grow to do so.

 

* * *

  

Terra walked quickly through the castle. He had retraced his steps through every room and corridor he had been in that day and he still couldn’t find what he was looking for. The next logical step was to ask Aqua. He speed walked into the lounge where she was curled up on the couch reading a novel.

“Aqua, have you seen my-“

Terra didn’t have to finish his question. The jacket he had spent the last hour hunting down was currently being worn by Aqua. It was several sizes too big for her, and she was cozied up in its enveloping warmth with the large hood pulled over her head.

“It took you long enough,” she teased. “I’ve only been wearing it all day.”

Terra sighed and dropped into the seat next to Aqua. “Where did you find it?”

“You left it on the training grounds this morning.”

“Of course.” The training grounds had been the first place Terra had looked, but he had clearly been several hours too late to find it. Somehow he had completely missed the fact that Aqua was wearing it at lunch. Though in recent weeks, she had taken to wearing it more than he did as the rainy season had let a damp chill fill the castle.

“Do you have somewhere to be? You seemed to be in an awful hurry.” Aqua asked innocently, still pretending to read her novel.

“No, I was just looking for my jacket before it started raining again.”

“Good.” Aqua shifted and threw her legs over Terra’s lap.

“Guess I’m stuck here for a while,” Terra chuckled, “You wanna hand me my b-“

The book he had been working on recently was already in Aqua’s hands. He took it with a quiet ‘thanks’ and settled in to read. The minutes ticked away in cozy silence, but after some time it became clear to Terra that something was on his friend’s mind.

“You okay, Aqua? You seem distracted.”

Aqua looked up from her book. “I’m fine. Just reading.”

Terra’s lips quirked in amusement. “Really? Because you haven’t turned a page in twenty minutes.”

“Well… I guess I’m just thinking…”

“About what?”

“Oh, baby things.” Aqua bit her lip and looked back at the pages of her book.

Terra’s eyes automatically went to the round curve of Aqua’s stomach that peeked out from the oversized folds of his stolen jacket. She was a couple weeks past the half-way point of her pregnancy. Terra was privately counting down the weeks until he could have his best friend and sparring partner back and things would finally go back to normal. Surely Aqua was looking forward to that just as much.

“Hey, Terra?”

“Yeah?”

“Can I bounce something off you and get your opinion? A purely hypothetical question?” Aqua’s eyes were nervous and wary.

Terra set his book aside. “Sure thing.”

She was quiet for a moment, absently running her thumb across the pages of her now forgotten book. “W-what if I decided to keep the baby?”

Terra fell still and something ugly and close to revulsion formed in his stomach. His voice was low and tense. “You’re not seriously thinking about keeping it, are you?”

Aqua flinched. “No, not really, but it’s been something that I’ve thought about. An idea I've been toying with.”

Terra could hardly imagine the thought of that monster’s child actually staying, growing up in the castle, and ruining Aqua’s life even further. “Why?”

Aqua sat up and pulled her legs from Terra’s lap. She didn’t meet his eye as she spoke. “Well, we’re both orphans. Didn’t you ever wonder what life might have been if your birth parents had kept you? What if they go to an orphanage and they’re never adopted, never loved?”

Incredulity was making Terra’s head spin. “Could _you_ love it, if you kept it?”

Aqua fixed him with a sharp look. “It’s not the baby’s fault they exist, nor is it mine. We shouldn’t punish them for their father’s sins.”

“And you shouldn’t punish yourself for his sins either!” Terra could tell this was something Aqua had been thinking over for some time now. And if she had already put this much thought into it, was she asking for his honest opinion, or just trying to give him a forewarning? “What about our keyblade training? How are we supposed to become Keyblade Masters together when you’re going to be raising some bastard’s brat?”

He knew he had spoken too harshly almost as soon as the words left his mouth, but it was too late to take them back. To his horror, tears began to gather in Aqua’s eyes. “You know as well as I do, that at some point our paths are going to have to split,” she said in a cold and broken voice.

“But it doesn’t have to be like this!”

Logically, yes, Terra knew that he and Aqua at some point would diverge from their shared path, but that was supposed to be _after_ they both became Keyblade Masters. It wasn’t supposed to happen so soon, or for this reason!

Beside him, Aqua stifled a small sob. Terra felt sick to his stomach. This was obviously not the reaction she expected, and he hadn’t wanted to make her cry. He was a terrible friend. But what was he supposed to do? Lie?

Terra stood up, he kept his eyes cast to the ground. “I’m sorry, Aqua, but you asked for my opinion. I think keeping that baby is the worst thing you could do to yourself.”

He beat a hasty retreat from the lounge and tried to ignore the sound of Aqua’s tears that seemed to chase after him. He barely got out the door before he ran into Ventus.

“Hey what’s the rush?” the younger boy joked with a small laugh. Then he heard Aqua and his smile fell. He looked from Terra’s glowering face to the lounge doorway. “What did you do?”

“Not now, Ven,” Terra brushed him off sharply, and pushed past him, marching as far away from the lounge as quickly as he could.

Ven called after him, but Terra ignored him. Aqua was the one who deserved to be comforted by her friend. After the way he had just acted, Terra didn’t even deserve his concern.

His feet unconsciously took him out to the courtyard, where Aqua had crashed after fighting tooth and nail to save herself and six others from the worst fate he could imagine. She was stronger than he ever would be. After everything she had gone through and was going through, Terra was supposed to be supportive of her.

He was a terrible friend.

The cold rain was quickly drenching him, but Terra turned his eyes skyward, sending out a silent prayer for strength and forgiveness into the ether.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look, someone had to be a douche this chapter, and unfortunately Terra drew the short straw.


End file.
